Dear friends,

A woman named Suzen recently reached out and told me a bit of her story. She describes herself as a “Mexican mama” with a love for storytelling. I was so inspired, and Suzen generously agreed to let me share her experience with you.

This summer, Suzen and her husband Chris heard about my book Flourishing on the Edge of Faith while listening to a podcast. They were preparing for a road trip, and they decided to read it together as they traveled.

Unsettling Us-vs-Them 

The first chapter stuck with Suzen. It’s all about how Jesus teaches us to call God “Our Father.” Suzen grew up praying the “Our Father” and experienced it as a dusty “man-made ritual.” But Jesus’s invitation was surprising and life-changing, in his context and ours still today.

The first people Jesus invited to call God “our Father” came from wildly different backgrounds. Many of them looked at one another with deep suspicion, frustration, and even hatred.

So when Jesus taught them to pray and say “Our Father,” Jesus was asking them to embrace a radical shift in perspective, not only toward God but toward one another. Praying to our Father meant that they were no longer strangers and enemies in an anonymous crowd; they were sisters and brothers in God’s family – a new we.

Then and now, praying to our Father with Jesus begins uprooting othering attitudes. It unsettles us-versus-them identities. It nourishes a sense of divine connection between us and opens a fresh well of compassion. In Flourishing, I encourage readers to practice praying Our Father throughout their day but especially when the people nearby don’t feel like beloved siblings in God’s family.

Suzen took this invitation seriously, and this is the beautiful story she shared with me.

Suzen’s Story    

“Your book blew the dust off my heart.

We have this neighbor. She’s the perfect neighbor – if you want to live with high blood pressure and ulcers. She is a big complainer. In the thirteen years we have lived in our house, the ONLY time she talks to me is when she has something to complain about.

A few days ago, we came home from a three-week road trip. I was stepping outside in my pajamas get something from the van when I saw her marching up the sidewalk straight toward me. She said, “I need to talk to you!” I said, “Can it be quick? I’m in my pj’s and just running to get something.”

Then she began to tell me that someone parked in front of her house and she doesn’t like it and “for 12 years…” Yada yada yada, blah blah blah.

While she was yada-ing, my heart was beginning to melt under the power of Our Father, which I was trying to practice as I saw her making her way toward  me like Lizzy Gwin, the meanest lady in the village in The Waking of Ned Devine. Now back to my heart, something had changed in me. I actually was looking at the face of a beloved child of God who is hurt and broken and frustrated, and I just felt love and compassion.

My normal Mexican mama would have liked to give her a piece of my mind about how she needs to get a life and that the car parked in front of her house wasn’t even mine. But I saw a wounded person, and my heart felt love and concern. I said I would speak to the person who parked in front of her house and told her, “We are people of peace, and we want you to know we want to live in peace with our neighbors. We care about what you care about.”

She looked a bit stunned. I think she came over because she had a beef and wanted to blow off some steam, maybe pick a fight. Instead, she got a sister who listened and said, “We will try and do better.”

I am sure it was your book!! I came into the house and said to my husband, “Hey guess what! Our Father just worked on me! I actually felt love for Cynthia.”

I feel a fresh wind has blown through me and I am revived. Thank you for speaking the truth. I know that may seem like a small thing, but small things are the foundation for bigger things.”

Converting Conflict into Compassion 

I can picture Suzen standing in her driveway with her pj’s on and Cynthia storming toward her ready for a fight. But Cynthia didn’t know that Suzen was silently praying our Father. And that practice unlocked a deep compassion within her. It converted another angry conflict into patient listening and meaningful connection. “Our Father just worked on me! I actually felt love for Cynthia.”

I believe this is exactly what Jesus intended when he taught us to pray to our Father. When we soak our consciousness in this shared connection, Jesus’s call to “love your enemies” doesn’t seem quite as absurd or impossible. Ultimately, it’s coming home to family.

Suzen inspires me to ask fresh questions this week:

• Who are the “Cynthias” in our lives?
• What surprises of love and compassion might start filling the gaps between us, even after years of frustration, when we practice praying to our Father?
• And what if this “small thing” could become the foundation for a “bigger thing” – respectful communication, gradual healing in our relationships, and more peace in our polarized society?

Suzen said, “Something had changed in me. I actually was looking at the face of a beloved child of God who is hurt and broken and frustrated, and I just felt love and compassion.” I believe this change in vision is possible for all of us, and we can cultivate it by practicing praying with Jesus.

This week, I hope you’ll dust off your practice and see what happens. I’d love to hear the story!

Yours with gratitude,

Andrew

Flourishing on the Edge of Faith: Seven Practices for a New We is available for purchase at BitterSweetBooks,  Amazon,  Audible, Kindle, Barnes & Noble, and all major booksellers.